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The Weekender – w13 – 8 Dec 2018


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W4  D0  L0

GF: 16    GA: 0




This was week 13 and a very unlucky weekend for many.  Unlucky, that is, for anyone who set out to play us.

I have now officially run out of superlatives.  There have been records before and will no doubt be records again but to have so many in one week is unsurpassed.

So here we go:  We haven’t gone undefeated in a week with more than two games since week 9 in 2014-15.  And you have to go further back to the Ides of March in 2014 – week 25 of the 13-14 season – to find a weekend with 100% victories.

But there has only ever been one weekend when we didn’t concede a single goal and that was a solitary L2 game – albeit they won 12-0 – in January 2014.

This was something on an entirely new level. 

Four games.  Four clean sheets.  Four wins.  Four goals per game, on average.  Just look at those ‘0’s.  And all in the right columns too.

In such a special situation, I feel it would be churlish to award Team of the Week to a single side so it goes wholeheartedly to all four of the Ones and Twos.

M1 gained revenge on the club that prevented them from promotion in 2016-17 with a resounding 6-0 away win.  Nick Franklin was in goal for this whilst five players were on the scoresheet.  They move up a place to third.  They are only a win behind leaders, Swanage, but the top half is only separated by five points so there are no laurels upon which to rest.  M1 face both the top two at home in February and revenge for their respective away defeats would see M1 sit atop the league as it stands.  In fact they have played all but one of the top half of the table away already so there is an opportunity to finish a place higher this season.  If not two…

M2 saw off Southampton University 4-0 at home with four different goalscorers (as seems to be the theme this week).  Rob Wood was between the sticks.  They remain top, three points clear of second.  Having played more than half of their away games, they too have to travel to only one of the top half in the new year.  To be fair they can’t finish any higher than they are at present but I’d settle for that.  You see, I can be forgiving.

L2 overthrew Petersfield 4-0 at home with three scorers and Caitlin Butcher earning her second clean sheet of the season.  Their only disappointment is not putting more goals past the bottom side.  They remain third and a point away from the all-important second place.  They do have work to do, however, if they are to improve their lot.  It seems improbable that they will ever catch the invincible leaders, Basingstoke, but they will doubtless need two points over second side Poole due to the gulf in GD between the two.  That said, they have played all down to fourth place away and A&F is barely a long trip so the opportunity is there.  It’s good to see two players in the top-scorer chart, too, even if they are slightly behind the Queen’s distant cousin.

L1 defeated Alton 2-0 at home with the goals, naturally, shared.  Lauren added to her Clean Sheet total.  They continue their battle with Hamble over the title role.  Currently they are best supporting actresses, but there are no points and only three goals in it.  Of all this week’s teams, L1 are the only side yet to face the two other top sides away.  But having secured four points off them already you would hope they are able to earn enough to at least retain their current spot.  Or perhaps one higher.

Right, having destroyed all the ambitions of the top four teams with over-zealous optimism I’m now going to burst your pre-Christmas hockey bubble by telling you that there are no senior league games in week 14.

We’ll be back in the new year though, so don’t go mad on the turkey – we need you in kipper condition to take this to the wire.




W2  D0  L2

GF: 15    GA: 15

For once the Seniors have outdone the Junior section.  But not by a lot.  They still managed fifteen goals in four games and two wins.  U12g secured a crisp away win but it was U16b who are Young Harts of the Week with their win together with eight goals.

U16b hosted Andover in an eleven goal thriller that finished 8-3.  Callum Abley and Thomas Flower both scored hat-tricks with Nathan Holifield and Will George rounding off a hearty win.  They are yet to face the as-yet unbeaten leaders, A&F, which could decide the top of the table, but Alton and Haslemere play games in hand in January which could go against U16b.  Second, though, is a fine place to be at Christmas.

U12g won 4-0 away to a struggling Alton side.  The goals came from Bea Edwards, Felicity Scutter and Sophies Jansen & McGuire.  Emma Garvey won her second Clean Sheet.  Like U16b they are second behind so-far-invincible A&F with the two sides below able to catch them on games in hand.  But they, too, should be very pleased with their second spot.

U16g narrowly lost out to Alton in a 3-4 thriller.  Emily Love, Maddie Saunders and Sienna Boyce all scored.  They remain third but the top two are undefeated which makes U16g top-of-the-rest.  They visit second bottom side Haslemere (GD: -23) next which should provide a fillip.

U12b1 had what is termed a tough day at the office against invincible leaders Trojans who lead the division with 6-0-0 and a +38 GD -only because the league stops counting at eight or it would be greater.  Nonetheless, in spite of their 0-8 defeat (it’s what the league says, so that’s what it is) they are still second at Christmas and lead the rest of Division 1 by two points which, if nothing else, shows the outright dominance of the leaders.

No change at the top of the scorers’ table but Nathan and Maddie both join Alex on nine with Nathan’s extra hat-trick putting him higher.

Sienna glides up a place with her goal while Callum leaps nine places with his hat-trick.

The full junior goalscorers table can now be found on the ‘Season Report page.

Emma’s Clean Sheet sees her join Tallulah on two.

The Minis were once again in action as A&F hosted at Princes Avenue.  They finished overall with 26 goals and 8-2-6 results.  Notable scorers for the U10s were Oscar Purcigo with five and Orla Scutter with a hat-trick.  For the U8s, George Wood, Jack Harding and Joab Meakin each scored two.  More names for tomorrow’s Senior commentary I fancy.

Oscar seems to be lining himself up for his eponymous award as he leads the season now by five goals.  George and Harry, though, will be having plans of their own with only a goal separating them in second and third.




This week’s GF average was the second best of the season at exactly 4.0, adding to the fine sum that has already been amassed to bring us on to 226 for the season.

So M1, fresh from their week off, took no time in making up lost ground leading, as they do, M2 by 17.  Ladies 1&2 share fourth spot on 35 each.

Goals are always a good thing (for those that needed reminding) but it is the Clean Sheets that have the biggest impact.  And this week’s quadruple means we are now only three goals behind the best GD ever.  To give this some more context, we were 83 goals worse off at this time last year.




James and Sienna ploughed ahead with two more for the Boyce family’s cause, but Jodie and Jeanette both ensured the Bennetts kept pace with them in second place.

Similarly Jack’s pair meant there was no change in the relative positions of the top three.

Further down Felicity added one to the Scutters’ total and James’s goal moved the Islips on to six.




With this orbital trajectory the club will be circling the Moon before the season is out.

The Win percentage is now back up to 49% as we have broken the 40 barrier before Christmas.  This is five weeks ahead of any previous season.

The record for a season stands at 65 and I can’t see that lasting much beyond week 20 at this rate.




November saw two clean sheets all month but we had double that in a day in December.

Nick, Sahil, Caitlin and Rob all make their mark on the table but it is Lauren and the miserly L1 who top December’s GK chart with a perfect two from two.

Nick keeps the pressure on Lauren in the season table, but she remains two CS clear of him.  There are eight keepers now on the CS chart.

The season’s GK table can now be found on the ‘Season Report page.




Having been outscored by the Attack in three of the last four weeks the Defence finally made up for lost time with four from four without any reply from the Attack in spite of their scoring at a rate of 4 per game.

Lauren keeps L1 ahead in the defensive table but Nick has moved M1 up into second place on three.

Caitlin consolidates L2’s position in fifth whilst Rob finally gets M2 off the mark.

The score is now Defence 16-11 Attack.


But this is what really counts as the 2018-19 Defence goes gold for the first time in two years.  It leads 2016-17 by 0.0005 goals per game to be (so far) the most defensive season ever.




No change in the order of things this week as the top four all won to improve their Win%, with the other four not playing.




Tom scored again but James equalled him to stay ahead and crown himself King of December.

With so many goals being shared so evenly we managed to amass 25 scorers in only one and a half weeks of league hockey.  That isn’t at all bad.


A little shuffling of the top order as Jack moves ahead of Tom for the season’s lead.

Jodie moves ahead of Bernice by virtue of her previous hat-trick and Mr Fox joins Nathan on nine.

The full season’s table can be found on the ‘Season Report page.




I feel a little let down, really.

No I said…. never mind

Usually I have no trouble with you providing me every opportunity to play Scrooge over the Christmas period with one grumble or another but every side that played this week surpassed themselves.

You could have conceded unnecessarily – even just the odd goal – but no, you had to have it all your own way.  What am I expected to do now, be happy and content over Christmas?   Enjoy spending time with my family? 

My wife has even bought her own Christmas present (a vain excuse to get something she wanted I expect) although this does mean I don’t have the annual trauma of being inventive whilst shopping – and, no, I have never managed to marry those two skills.

But there was just one thing nagging me: where were all those hat-tricks I was after?  I mean how can you possibly score sixteen goals in four games and not have one post-hanging, selfish tapper-in to add to the hat-trick table?  Were you even trying?  Really?  It was so bad there were barely any braces being sought (a meagre two) – it’s almost as if you were deliberately sharing out the goals evenly amongst yourselves just to vex me.

Ah, now that’s better.  Right, I’m off to wrap the girls something to clean my car.






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