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The Weekender – w11 – 24 Nov 2018


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W4  D1  L2

GF: 29    GA: 18




That is some turnaround.  Following last week’s mediocrity the results have bounced right back and half of the sides are now in the top two.  Not only that but we have beaten our best GA this season by a distance as we pushed through the 4 goals per game barrier.

This was, in part, due to M1 – who did trickle in a couple – but all four of the 1s and 2s entered into the spirit of the weekend by scoring at least four.  Some even at the right end.  My only complaint – and, yes, I always do have at least one – is that our GA average remains stubbornly high.  But I will moan about that in more detail later.

What about Team of the Week?  As well as scoring plenty, all the 1s and 2s also won as a result.  Whilst the 1s faced lower placed opposition, the 2s were playing up the table.  L2 faced the noisy neighbours who were one ahead near the top of the table but the Team of the Week was M2 who deposed the leaders and, in doing so, took charge of their division.

M1 walloped New Forest 12-1 in Brockenhurst with no fewer than seven scorers.  Nathan bagged a hat-trick whilst David, Kyle and Will each claimed a pair.  The only disappointment was that they didn’t remain focussed enough to keep a clean sheet.  Nonetheless they move top of the division as a result.

M2 hosted table-topping Alton and sent them packing 4-2.  Goals were shared evenly between Geoff, James, Oli B and Tom.  They go top, two points clear of second. with none of the other three who were level at the start of the day scoring more than one point.

L2 hosted Aldershot & Farnham who started the day ahead of FEHC.  However L2 took this place at the end of day with a 4-2 win.  Skipper Bernice bagged a brace to put them two places ahead of A&F.


L1 started the day in first place but although they scored five goals, including two from Sarah, they conceded four and with these the lead of the division on GD as Hamble put five past the bottom side.  So it remains tight as the top four all won.

M4 secured a valuable point as they drew 2-2 at home to Alton, in spite of the visitors being five places higher in the table.  The Chrisses (Chrises.? Crises..?) were both on target this time.  They remain eighth but only on Goal Difference.

M3 travelled to Tadley where a goal from Rich turned out to be just a consolation as they fell 1-3.  They slip to bottom but are less than a win away from sixth as this table, in contrast to those above, is tight at the bottom instead.

L4 slumped to an away defeat as it finished 1-4 in Aldershot & Farnham’s favour.  Sophie’s goal ensured they didn’t fire a blank.

M1’s opposition this week have folded but there is plenty of action elsewhere.

M2 have, on paper at least, the best chance of a good win but the pick of the games fall to L2 and L3 who both take on the leaders.

In particular L2 host unbeaten Basingstoke who are only one place, but six points ahead.




W1  D0  L2

GF: 14    GA: 13

Only three games survived something of a cull this week but that didn’t stop the youngsters scoring, although the fall of goals was somewhat uneven.  U12b2 weren’t able to find the net as U16b only scored one but the girls more than made up for this as U12g dished out an absolute mauling to be named Young Harts of the Week.

U12g ran out 13-1 victors at home to Yateley.  Poppy Metcalfe showed Dad how it’s done with four and Felicity Scutter also scored a hat-trick.  Millie Gates, Sophie McGuire and Anna Graham also each scored twice in the rout.  They move up a place to second.

U16b visited Haslemere but were undone 1-4.  Will George was the one on target.  They slip a place to second.

U12b2 came up against a strong Alton side whom they were unable to break down and visitors Alton finished firm winners.  They drop one place to fifth.

This was a day for the girls to make ground as Poppy shoots up to fifth place strongly followed by Millie and Felicity.

The full junior goalscorers table can now be found on the ‘Season Report page.




How about that for getting back on track?  29 is the biggest haul of goals since w23 in 2016-17 – but of course you knew that (I know you secretly keep tabs on these things to make sure I don’t lose count..).  The GF average moves up a decimal to 2.6 for the year so far.

This vertiginous climb takes us on to 191.  We are 73 games into a 161 game season, by which count puts us right into 400 territory for the season.  Provided you don’t go skiing, get injured or otherwise jinx my ambitions.  Yes, of course it’s about me.  It’s always been about me – why do you think I’m here…for your benefit?

So who is blessing us with such riches?  Of course it’s the Ones.  And the Twos.  Although M1 have scored nearly double M2’s total.

M4 still lead the ‘chasing pack’.

And GD is back in positive territory on 11 – the second best total for week 11.

By team, M1 have carved an entirely separate path to everyone else.




Chris and Jodie pooled their resources to put another two up for the Bennetts.

This keeps them top although the Metcalfes had a weekend of it as Poppy put Dad, Jack, in his place as her four, compared to his miserly one, shot them up a place to second.

The Boyces weren’t idle either, though, as both James and Sienna added to their total to keep them ahead of the Hobkirks for whom Lisa and Stuart both scored.

Felicity’s hat-trick saw the Scutters move level with the Craddens as we now have six families in double figures.




Normal service has been resumed after last week’s ‘shrug’.

Our thirty-fourth win of the season puts the win percentage back up to 47% (for reference the highest it has ever been before this year was 45%).  It’s like looking at two separate graphs.




Now to monthly honours and Nick takes it with a clean sheet and a GA average of just 0.5.  Very tidy.

Lauren is just behind on 1.8 whilst Rob leads the rest without a clean sheet with his average of just 1.0.

The disappointment is that there were no clean sheets this week and we are yet to have a sub-2.0 week.  Let that be the challenge for December.

By the way, Clean Sheets also do your averages no harm either.  Just thought I should point that out.

For the season as a whole, Lauren remains in pole position on three CS but Nick, on two, has a better GA.  And a CS for Sarah would also put her ahead, so it remains very close.

The season’s GK table can now be found on the ‘Season Report page.




I’m not entirely sure how you have managed this but the lot of you scored 29 goals but only managed one hat-trick.  It all seems a little lax to me -as if you really haven’t been paying attention.

Maybe you’re just waiting to give me a nice Christmas present in December.  Well my birthday lasted a month so why not?

Nathan, he says as he (finally) returns to the point, scored the hat-trick to move M1 into the lead on the table.

This is the third week in a row without a Clean Sheet.  And the third week in a row with a HT.

The upshot is that the Defence have let slip their lead of four to be only one ahead.  Another week and they’ll be level…

It is now Defence 10-9 Attack.




The over-symmetrical table continues as Ladies 1&2 keep to their winning ways and both move on to 80%.

Likewise their male counterparts to the same to move on to 60%.

M3 & L4 remain entangled on 12% but M4 could leapfrog them both with a win.




Jack didn’t even need to score to be crowned king of November, but score he did to ensure he is clear ahead of everyone else.

Nathan’s hat-trick sees him move level with Lisa on 4-1 whilst there are no fewer than six others on 4-0.


All of which means that Jack is the first into double figures.  This is again surprising as the club has scored 191 goals and yet nobody has scored faster than one a week.  Have you all learnt to pass the ball in the summer?  Something unusual is going on.

The full season’s table can be found on the ‘Season Report page.




Well thank you for that.  It was a good way to see off the fluctuating weather this month.  At least you can now rest easy knowing it’s going to be drizzly and mizzerable (sic) on Saturday. 

But don’t begin your match report with a synopsis of the weather – we all know this is a euphemism for a poor result.  But then this is England so you have to talk about the weather.  If you didn’t the report would have to be about something else entirely, like -I don’t know- hockey, maybe?









News Reports

Weather Forecast

Today 12/16 90%
Periods of rain. High 8C. Winds S at 10 to 15 km/h. Chance of rain 90%.
Tomorrow 12/17 10%
Except for a few afternoon clouds, mainly sunny. High 9C. Winds SW at 15 to 25 km/h.
Tuesday 12/18 100%
Cloudy and windy with periods of rain in the afternoon. High 9C. Winds SSE at 30 to 50 km/h. Chance of rain 100%. Rainfall near 6mm. Winds could occasionally gust over 65 km/h.