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The Weekender – w23 – 24 Feb 2018


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W4  D0  L3

GF: 27    GA: 12


Why have silk when

you can have Velvet?


I don’t eat a lot of chocolate; Easter eggs used to last me until mid-July.  Sometimes I forgot them entirely, but fortunately for me I now have children so this problem seems to have sorted itself out.

But if I do have chocolate it has to be good.  Certainly dark and preferably Swiss.  And don’t go spoiling it with ‘flavour’ which tastes nothing like that advertised -unless you add mint in which case it tastes nothing like chocolate either.

Appropriate uses for velvet #1

You sense I am a bit of a purist.  Perhaps that is why I like my hockey sugar-coated -or chocolate coated, if you prefer.  And this was such a weekend as L2, in some vain effort to get a mention, scored a hat-trick of hat-tricks, as well as a clean sheet.  Not only that but our Velvet scored no fewer than five to put her clear ahead at the top of the Div 5 scorers’ table.  Now that is smooth.

Team of the Week was not so straightforward, however, and – for reasons of impartiality as well as to ensure I dodged the bullet – I deferred the decision to the higher authority that is the Team of the Week Dubious Decision Committee who returned a verdict that it should be shared between L2 for their vainglorious walloping and M4 for their perhaps less glamorous, but none the less glorious, win that catapulted them half-way up the table.  At this time of the season this deserves not a little credit.

L2 walloped, whipped and battered Gosport who dared to visit the Army Hockey Centre and paid the price with a 13 (thirteen) – 0 final scoreline.  The three hatricks came from Velvet Elson (5), Bernice Gunn (4) and Becky Geoghegan (3) with Amy Cradden also hitting the target.  They can’t climb the table because they are already top, but this adds to their already superior goal difference.  But let’s not understate the result here – Gosport are sixth in the table.  Woe betide anyone lower crossing the threshold.  They now have nine wins in a row.  Their prospects are considered below.

Yes, of course

M1 needed a solid win away to eleventh side Fareham.  They might be disappointed to have conceded, but 4-1 does the trick and gives them their sixth win on the bounce.  Khurram Mahmood scored twice with Ollie Bradgate and Robert Collins finding the net once each.  Perhaps more interesting was the result between the top two.  Havant lost to US Portsmouth which now puts the latter in the driving seat, but only three points ahead of M1.  Their end of season run-in is, again, explored later in this missive.

M2 hosted fifth side Fareham and, with a 5-1 win, swapped places with them by the end of the day.  Cameron Martin (twice), Richard Meakin, Simon Islip and James Islip scored the goals.  They still have a cup to contend with too, on which more later.

Fine. But monogrammed?

M4 recorded their second win of the season with the 2-1 defeat of eighth side Basingstoke Vikings.  The goals were scored by Dan Wall and Nathan Butler.  They move up three places to sixth.  Other sides do have games in hand, however, so they can’t afford to rest there.

L3 visited Fareham and did well to lose 2-4 being that they weren’t able to recruit a keeper.  Lisa Garvey and Lucy Preskett were on target.  They remain fourth.

L1 took the ferry to the Isle of Wight but returned to the mainland without any points as they succumbed 1-3 to the Islanders, Ellie Williams getting the goal.  They remain fourth but there are five teams between third and seventh separated by only two points.

M3 had the hardest task of the day with a trip to the leaders, Petersfield.  They did manage to limit the hosts to two but were unable to add any of their own.  They remain ninth.


The biggest games this week are for M3 and M4, these being the sides looking down more than up.

M1 and L2 will both continue their pursuit of league gold and winning streaks.

All results and end of season prospects are considered at the end.




W2  D1  L2

GF: 13    GA: 10

We’re getting a bit OTT here

Several teams in action this weekend with some tough games and other less tricky run-outs.  Young Harts of the Week this week were U12g whose win moves them back into second place.

U12b1 had the biggest win of the day with a 9-0 win at home to fifth-placed Fareham.  Hat-tricks for Alex Thompson and Charley Ivey and goals by Arthur Gent-Eggett, Jack Hobkirk and William Caine were rounded off with a clean sheet for Jed McEvoy.  They are top of Division 1 and will be exclusive Champions with at least a point against the second bottom side.  I’m no longer taking bets on this one.

U12g beat Yateley 2-0 at home with goals from Bea Edwards and Eleanor Hemsby.  Tallulah Smith claimed the clean sheet.  They are second but Basingsoke play their game in hand this weekend.  The girls’ next game is against Basingstoke so the winner of that game will definitely be second.

Really, Nike? For hockey?

U16b earned a creditable home 1-1 draw against second side Woking.  The point, secured by a goal from Will George, sees them move into clear fifth place.  They travel to play the leaders this weekend.

U16g had a rather difficult game away to the Isle of Wight and came away with a 1-3 loss.  Jodie Bennett scored the goal.  They slip to fifth.

U12b2 faced a tricky trip to third side Andover and came away with a 0-6 defeat.  They now face the most important game of the season – an away game against bottom side Fareham – but this is not until April.

The top two only scored one this week which means Alex and Charley are making up ground on them -particularly on the hat-trick front.

It tells a tale, however, that U12b1 occupy all of the top four spots.  But there are many reports of selflessness amongst these young men which may explain not only why the goals are shared around but also why there are so many of them overall.  In fact their GF average is 8.3 which, coupled with a defensive record of conceding three all season, makes for eye-watering reading if you are the opposition.

Tallulah added another clean sheet this week, but Jed wasn’t taking any chances and remains one ahead as he claimed his fifth of the season.

The full Junior goalscorers’ table is on the ‘Season Report page.




Boom!  We have now reached 305 goals and overtaken the 2014-15 season and are second only to last year.

You may notice that the 2014-15 curve, however, went very uppish towards the end of the season and I fear we may run out of games to keep up, but let’s milk it while the going is good.

The forecast last week was to score sixteen and concede twelve.  Given nobody could predict L2’s dominance of the weekend this doesn’t seem a bad estimate.  The same projection still sees us coming up short of the 350 mark.  Then again, L2 have a couple more games left so they can probably make up the shortfall on their own.  Let’s see..

They’ve only gone and blooming done it!

This was a graph so bad that I didn’t dare publish it in the first half of the season.  At its worst it hit a low of -52 which, particularly given only three of the first fifteen weeks were positive, did not seem like returning to the black ever let alone before the end of the season.  But it is now exactly zero.  Which is entirely due to the fact that GD for the past seven weeks was +50.  Remarkable.

The full season’s GS chart can be found on the ‘Season Report page.




The idea is fine – but the colour…?

The top three all add one, courtesy of Jack, Jodie and Amy respectively.

Lisa’s goal moves the Garveys just ahead of the Rutherfords and Vineys whilst the Islips added a perfect pair – son passing to father to score the first then father passing to son for the second.  The two goals move them onto five and ahead of the McFadzeans.

We also have another new family on the table.  Rachel Butler has been bemoaning her father’s lack of goalscoring prowess for their absence from the table but has found solace from a different angle as she now shares the spoils with her brother, Nathan, who popped up with his first senior goal this week.  The Butlers move straight in on three goals and make the fifteenth family on the table.  Now how is that for establishing ourselves at the forefront of family hockey?  Fifteen families, thirty-six scorers and 168 goals.




We have now reached 54 wins for the season and need just another five to ensure second place in the table.

Last season reached 65 which means we need to win half of the remaining 24 games (or more with a cup run or two).

We would have to do rather better than if we were to finish higher than third on win% but 41% is nothing to be ashamed of.  Far from it.




No, no, no, no…

Lauren’s efforts in previous weeks see her top of the table for February.

Emily moves up to fourth with her clean sheet whilst Jacob also moves up and would have joined the clean sheet club but for an errant defensive pass.  Such is the lot of a keeper.

The GA average, however, is at a remarkable low of 1.7.  The challenge used to require keeping the weekly GA below 2.0.  This is the monthly GA which is all the harder.

For the season, the GA average falls another tenth to 2.3.

Lauren remains the on roof of the table supported strongly by a pair of Walls who are now both on six with Mrs leading Mr by 0.164 of a goal/game.  Not that they’re counting.

The season’s GK table is on the ‘Season Report page.




Testing your memory here. And age.

For the first time since week 15 the Attack have outscored the Defence.  And with some style.

In fact, all four points came from L2 with their hat-trick of hat-tricks and a clean sheet.

Becky, Bernie (sic) and Velvety (sorry, couldn’t resist) all doubled their tallies and, in turn, doubled that of L2 to move them top of the Attack table with six HT overall.

L2’s dominance in Defence remains as they have now reached double figures for the season with Emily’s CS.




M1 push ever onwards and will be hoping to reach 80% by winning their next two games.

M2 move ahead of L3 with their win whilst that of M4 sees them skip up another table as they bound ahead of M3.




Just when you thought you’d done enough, certainly to be in the top three, the Musketresses (?) jump up and depose you from your throne.

Suffice to say, you should be wearing velvet this month.  A velvet cloak for a female musketeer?  I reckon it could catch on.  Then they can go out and defeat the Beast from the East.

But I did bemoan the absence of hat-tricks from this month, so thank you ladies.  I’m glad you were paying attention.  Even if some of you do forget to ‘like’ the FB post when you’re not on the scoresheet…

Amy and Khurram also deserve a mention for their four, as does Nathan for being better than his father.  Red rag.  Bull.  What could possibly go wrong?


..and the younger generation just won’t know

The biggest change for the season’s scorers is not at the very top but in the pursuing peloton.

There are now six players on multiple hat-tricks -somewhat unsurprisingly these are the six top scorers.  But Ellen remains atop the heap on both measures.

Velvet’s five moves her up three places to fourth whilst Becky’s hat-trick just keeps her a nose ahead.  Khurram’s brace ensures he stays just ahead of Bernice who climbs two places with her four.

Richard loses a place for scoring a mere one, such is the pace at the top.

The full season’s table is available on the ‘Season Report page.



Domestic velvet goddess



It is that time of the season where we should be maximising our potential.  We have two Championships and two Trophies at stake as well as the fear of the drop. 



First come our title hopefuls.  L2 would hope to win both of their remaining games, but mustn’t take their current position for granted.  Failure to win this week would put a lot of pressure on their final game.

M1 have further to go and a bigger hurdle too by way of their top of the table clash against US Portsmouth.  First they must ensure their standards do not slip at home to Swanage.

Our next hopes are for a cup title, for which we are reliant on L1 and M2.  L1 made a valiant effort in this last season, just missing out on a final by losing their semi-final to Petersfield, whom they meet in the Quarter-finals this year.  In the league they have a mix of games to play with tricky away games and, hopefully, easier home ties.

M2 make their cup debut in the Hampshire Trophy and are Quarter-finalists without having to lift a stick so far.  In the league they are likely to end the season in mid-table but will be looking for a strong finish.

L3 and M4 are both looking to finish the season strongly.  L3 are on their travels but are still eyeing third spot.

M4 are looking to equal, or better, their highest finish in recent years which is the equivalent of 6th.



M3 have a tricky task and that is to avoid the bottom two spots.  Their best hope is for a win this weekend with other results going their way.  Otherwise it could be a make or break game on the last day of the season at home to Tadley.


Did someone say cake?

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