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The Weekender – w12 – 25 Nov 2017


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W3  D1  L3

GF: 14    GA: 17




Well at least nobody got themselves injured this week.  Well apart from Dave (ankle), Robert (knee), Tom (concussion), the ball in M4’s game (split personality)…  maybe I should have thought that through before I started writing.  But on the bright side we did have some returning from injury, not least Ian Fitzgerald after his rib-tickler earlier in the season.  So provided you only get injured at the rate at which the others are recovering then we don’t have to worry.  Do we?

But what did you think the title meant?  No it wasn’t a cursive outburst.  It arose from an apparent penchant by the club for Flamingo poses.  They do vary from team to team, but there is a definite trend.  Most evident is hat-trick hero, Steve Riley, in preparation for his p-flick but M3 were also at it.  But perhaps it might all stem from Silky Skills herself as she demonstrated in L1’s game.

As for the small matter of Team of the Week there was a choice of winners once again.  M1 had a tough top-of-the-table clash against a high-scoring side but manged to outgun the opposition.  M3 faced a second-placed side seven places higher but came out on top and L3, too, triumphed over the second side in their division.  But whilst M1’s win was valiant, it has become almost expected.  And so the honour is shared between the threes, M3 and L3.

M1 faced the new leaders of Division 4, US Portsmouth at home.  Having gone three ahead in the first twenty minutes through Steve Riley (twice) and Josh Dolding they were then pegged back to 3-3.  Steve then duly converted a p-flick (see Home page) for his hat-trick before USP restored parity once more.  But M1 were to have the last laugh as Josh bagged his second (below) for it to finish 5-4.  They move up to second behind Havant.


M3 defeated Trojans, who started seven places higher, 2-1 at home.  Goals came from Geoff Slack and a P-flick from Simon Dearnley.  Did I say a P-flick from Simon Dearnley?  I think I did.  Well there you go.  The win sees them move up to eighth as they start to look up the table rather than down.

L3 returned to winning ways with their 1-0 home defeat of Fareham.  Mary Beckett was on target for the goal and Sarah Petersen and her inspired defence held on for the all important clean sheet that sees them climb to sixth in the table.

L1 were also at home but didn’t get the memo about winning home league games so only managed a 2-2 draw against the Isle of Wight.  Molly Kelly was on target as was Ellen Knighton (who else).  They remain fourth.

M2 got M1’s memo about scoring but being away (to Poole) decided the part about winning didn’t apply to them so they finished 3-4 down.  Richard Meakin, Lewis Hawthorne and Ollie Jones provided the entertainment at the right end.  The defeat sees them slip two places to eighth.

L2 travelled to Gosport but were unable to bring home any points or goals, all of which seems rather unlike them.  They remain fourth, however.

M4 had a gap in their league itinerary and so decided to host Lavant who are second in their equivalent league for more coastal teams.  Chris Heaps did find the goal but they were outscored in a 1-4 encounter.

M4 have the toughest task next as they return to league action with a trip to first placed Alton.

The ones both face lower opposition, however, whilst L2 and M3 face adjacent teams in their leagues.

I have asked it before, but I should probably do so again as you didn’t seem to be paying much by way of attention.  Perhaps I might quote my wife’s parting words every Saturday morning:  “Don’t get injured.  You’re no use to me injured.”




W0  D1  L1

GF: 6    GA: 9

Only the U14s played this week and unfortunately neither managed a win.

U14b did, however, manage a point – as well as numerous goals – and so lay claim to the title of Young Harts of the Week.

A hat-trick from Alex Thompson added to by a brace for Jack Hobkirk saw them draw 5-5 at Aldershot & Farnham.  Both sides remain unbeaten but U14b remain on top by two points with their extra win.

U14g travelled to Yateley where Imogen Scutter put her name onto the families table with a goal, but the side finished 1-4 down in a tough encounter.  They are now 10th=.

Jack continues to grow his lead at the top of the scorer’s chart but Alex moves level with Amy on goals and HT with this week’s hat-trick.




This week’s goal average slipped back three points to 2.0 but the fourteen goals puts us into third place compared to the last seven years.

I’m still waiting for that goal fest that just doesn’t quite seem to materialise, but you will no doubt spring it on me when I least expect it.  I just can’t work out when it is that I am least expecting you to do it…

Goal Difference was less negative again this week, but it could really do with working its way into the black at some stage or we’ll end up with a budget deficit that can’t be repaid.  And you wouldn’t want any austerity being enforced now, would you?

The rolling five-week GS average is back on the up, however, which suggests we are doing something right.

The full season’s GS chart can be found on the ‘Season Report page.




Controversy this week as the Bennetts and Garveys usurp the Hobkirks.

This is because this week I have ordered things by the number of scorers first followed by the goals scored.

You might say, of course, this is desperately unfair on the Hobkirks having just lost a team member to a disclocated elbow, but there are two arguments against this.  Firstly Lisa is still up and running (and in some books more likely to score anyway).  Secondly, I never suggested at any moment that any of this is fair.  Just ask the non-scoring midfielders and defenders how many mentions they get if you are unsure.  Except Simon Dearnley.  Did you hear he scored a flick?  Remarkable.

But not to worry, I’ll figure another way of stirring things up again next week.

You will see, though, the Scutters have entered the table and go straight into sixth place.




Well this is still not at all bad.  We are second and only one win behind first place.  It might get a little tough over the next week or two but if we keep winning it will all come good in the end.  Trust me.  Have I ever let you down?




And so Lauren is top of the pile for November.  One clean sheet proved sufficient in the end as her GA average took her over the line first.  Sarah joined the clean sheet fray just too late this month but there’s more to be had there too I’m sure.

In the season’s table Emily restores tension to the breakfast conversation as she usurps her husband’s first place in the GK table with a miniscule margin of advantage by way of GA average.

Sarah, meanwhile, consolidates third place as she rests a hand on the shoulders of the Walls with all of them on three clean sheets.

The season’s GK table is on the ‘Season Report page.




Two weeks on the run we have had both HT and CS.  Just one each this week but people are muttering something about gift horses and mouths here.

The good news is that the elves have been hard at work mending the the tables that they allege I broke.

Either way,  you can now seen them all in technicolour glory.

Steve proudly adds his name to the list this week as M1 assert their authority at this end.

At the other end, Sarah sees L3 match pace with M1 but neither can catch L2 just yet.





M1 are back and they are now on 80% once more.
The closest chasers, L1 slip up this week as do L2 whilst L3 move up to third.

M3 also get themselves over the one fifth mark.




Ellen adds another to ensure there are no close contenders for this month’s title as her 9-2 statistics see her titled ‘Miss November’.

Josh managed to secure second place ahead of two of the hat-trick scorers with Becky in third.

Now December is a short month, in hockey terms, so don’t let your guard down.  Best to get the goals in early I’d say.


Well this really is becoming a two-horse race, unless there are any late-comers to the party.  As it stands, only Josh has scored more than half the number of Ellen’s goals.

The full season’s table is available on the ‘Season Report page.



This week I would like to dedicate this section to those who put their time and effort into the making of this club.

There are numerous volunteers (some of whom are voluntary..) who captain sides, umpire games, manage millions of minions and even find time, somehow, to not only count the mini’s goals, but also to let us all know who it was who scored them.

But there are also the coaches without whom we would have nobody to shout at us or tell us exactly how we are never going to master the art of firing an aerial in anywhere near the right direction.

Not least of these is the indomitable Clive whom we must congratulate on having his Level 2 coaching award signed off on Monday.

So no more telling him he doesn’t know what he is doing. 

Save that for the umpires.




Match Reports

Weather Forecast

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Today 03/18 30%
Snow Showers
Bitterly cold. Flurries and a few snow showers throughout the day. High around 0C. Winds ENE at 25 to 40 km/h. Chance of snow 30%.
Partly Cloudy
Tomorrow 03/19 0%
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Cloudy skies early, followed by partial clearing. High 3C. Winds NE at 25 to 40 km/h.
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Tuesday 03/20 30%
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Cloudy. High 7C. Winds NNE at 15 to 30 km/h.