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The Weekender – w10 – 11 Nov 2017


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W1  D1  L5

GF: 14    GA: 25




Blast off!

Well, OK, maybe not quite.  Seven games.  Six with dropped points.  Five defeats.  Four points overall.  Three games with more than seven goals.  Two shut-outs.  One win.

Hands up – this was my fault.  In anticipation of the big weekend that we always have this time of year I did get a bit carried away.  Having read the tea leaves, the tarot cards, a crystal ball and a rather gripping novel I foresaw this was going to be a weekend full of goals and points.  However I missed the small print (tea leaves have small print?) that suggested most of these would be to the advantage of the opposition.

We did manage to score as many goals as last weekend, if spread a little less evenly, and were not entirely pointless or, even, winless.  But it did lack the anticipated “Booom” of previous seasons. 

It has to be said that our league record in defence has been remarkably strong this season – particularly on the clean sheet front – but this week wasn’t quite so successful. 

With fourteen goals scored you would have hoped for a better dividend than four points, but many defenders seemed to be on holiday or injured -some just as the game began.  M2 scored plenty but forgot the Kevin Keegan rule of making sure that you scored more than your opponents.  M4 had many defenders poached due to the absence of defenders in other sides.  So bad it was that even M1, who had only conceded two league goals all season, let two more get past them in one game.  They did read KK’s biography, however, and trebled their opponent’s tally.

So as Goal Difference takes another battering there is only one serious contender for Team of the Week.  L2 managed a point, but against a side seven places lower.  L1 only narrowly lost their tussle against their table neighbours, but they did lose.  M3 put on a stalwart performance against the top of the league side, but let in a couple more goals than you might hope which rules them out.  Inevitably, therefore, the award must go again to M1.  Their seventh win scoring six goals through five goal-scorers, having conceded only four in the league this season, saw them take three points and move two points clear at the top of Division 4, with one game still in hand.  Now that is what you might call a ‘Blast Off’.

The Rocket Men, M1, continue unabated with their 100% league record.  The scorers were Josh Dolding (2), Khurram Mahmood, Matt Viney, Steve Riley and debutant Paul Robinson giving them a solid 6-2 victory at home to Fareham.  They move into top place, courtesy of former leaders, US Portsmouth, losing to Havant.  They also still have their game in hand against A&F just before Christmas which gives them the opportunity to put clear water between them and the chasing pack.

L2 could only manage a draw at ninth side Eastleigh.  Becky Geoghegan scored their only goal in a 1-1 stalemate.  They, like all the ladies this week, are fifth, falling three places.

M2 had a game that was both prolific and profligate.  Ollie Jones scored twice with Cameron Martin and Lewis Hawthorne making it four.  However they finished on the losing side as their hosts, Fareham, had scored one more to make it 4-5.

L1 hosted third side Alton in a battle for second only to lose both the game and three places.  After much investigation I have come to the conclusion that it is more than likely, if not entirely guaranteed, that Jodie Bennett and Leah Coney both scored.  But more on this later.  Regardless of all this they ended 2-3 down which saw them drop three places to fifth.

M3 had a reasonable game, but up against the invincible leaders this wasn’t enough to avoid a 1-4 defeat.  Phil Hutson’s goal ensured they had something to cheer.  They remain ninth but could do with a second win before too long.

L3 slipped a place to the regulation fifth by losing 0-2 at home to Aldershot & Farnham.  There are still plenty of winnable games to come though – we just need to rediscover that winning feeling from the start of the season.

M4 were up against it, primarily due to losing most of their players to other sides and a key defender to a hamstring injury 5 minutes in.  They finished on the wrong end of a 0-8 scoreline at Basingstoke.

After this week’s easy (sic) games there are a number of trickier fixtures this week.  L2 & L3 both face the league leaders whilst the ninth-placed men’s sides have fifth-placed opponents.  M1 also have a tricky trip to Swanage to test their dominance of the league so far.  Then again I have stopped putting money on my predictions after losing a packet at the bookies this last week so you never know.




W3  D0  L2

GF: 28    GA: 16

There were two similar junior games but with differing results.

U14b had a close game at home to Chichester and took the title of this week’s Young Harts of the Week with a 4-3 win.  Jack Hobkirk scored a hat-trick and William Hobkirk kept it in the family by adding his to make four.  They are now top of the division with a perfect three from three.

U16b also had a close game but came off second best away to Aldershot & Farnham.  It finished 2-3 with a brace from Will George.  They are now third but are reliant on other sides not winning their games in hand.

U12g also attended a 7-a-side festival arranged by Aldershot & Farnham for less experienced players, but not all the clubs read the rules so they ended the day winless but learned a lot from their endeavours.

Jack now moves ahead of Amy on the leaderboard.  Will George also moves up five places with his brace.




This wasn’t a bad week for goals scored with fourteen more to the tally, although the goal per game average was only 2.0.

However, we have now slipped to fifth (/seven) which isn’t good.  Other years had their bumper weeks in weeks nine or ten which is why their graphs have an uptick to them.  We seem to be saving this goal boost until later in the season, but nobody has let me know just yet when this is going to be.  Let’s just hope it comes before Christmas.

News on the Goal Difference front was less good with -11 which is the worst since week two (which, like the season’s GD, doesn’t merit a detailed review).

Now the weeks are into double figures the full season’s GS chart can be found on the ‘Season Report page.




There is a very tight competition going on that you may not be aware of and that is for top family scorer.

William and Jack made sure this week that the Hobkirks are top of the pile as they logged no fewer than four goals between them – the parents sadly missing from this list.

But the Bennetts and Craddens are only two goals behind with the former edging second place by having more of the family in goal action.

The Garveys and Ableys are also nip and tuck just behind them.

I wanted to add the numerous Williams to the list too but in spite of their shared prowess in front of goal it seems that none are related.




Only securing one win in seven games isn’t going to win many prizes here, being 20 percentage points less than the season average so far.

In fact on average we needed to win 2.5 games to increase the season’s Win%.  Next week we have the ‘burden’ of having eight games which means we have to win 2.7 games.  Or 3, to you and me.

We have slipped to third on this particular chart – down from top two weeks ago – and are now three behind top spot.  Still, the leaders won nothing in week 10 so is that a door I see opening?  Maybe.




No clean sheets this week which means Dan keeps top place, but his lead is slender as there are five other keepers with a better GA.

Dan’s GA for the season of 1.3, however, keeps him top of the year’s table.

The season’s GK table is on the ‘Season Report page.




Nothing.  Zip.  Rien.  Zilch.

Even the Young Harts didn’t record a clean sheet this week.  But they did manage a hat-trick, courtesy of Jack.




I wax lyrical about M1’s Win% every week, expecting it to have peaked then they go and beat their own record.  If we strip out their friendly it looks even more remarkable, but let’s no do that.  I like to see it creep up every week.  Two more wins and they’ll reach 90%.  But it drops fast from up there if they don’t.

Further down MV move up the table by not playing, which says it all really.  L1 remain on a respectable 40% which in any other season would seem more than reasonable.




Khurram added to last week’s hat-trick to stay top of the pile but the goals were shared remarkably evenly this week.

Becky, Josh and Ollie J. move on to two but there are altogether 22 scorers in the first two weeks of November.


Josh just pips Ellen at the top of the pile in the season’s chart by virtue of having scored a hat-trick.

Leah and Ollie J. join Richard on seven goals but otherwise there is little change in the grand order of things.

The full season’s table is available on the ‘Season Report page (for those of you who have scored one goal and still want to see their name in lights).



Great prophets of our time..

It’s match report time.

I try to bite my tongue most weeks or else I would forever be waxing lyrical about the state of grammar/spelling/typing on social media.  But this week was a bit special for a different reason.

On Monday night Angie forgot who her star players were.  They were (allegedly) someone else’s star player -so as not to bring the entire concept into disrepute, but nonetheless…

There have also been a large number of forgotten sticks, clothing, personal belongings and the odd family member left at the side of the pitch this season.

But when it comes to forgetfulness the NJ award for the week must go to Lucy D-H who was given the Doughnut of the Day award for forgetting who they were playing.  The punishment is to write the match report where she forgot to say who scored their second goal.  After not a little debate on the subject it transpired that she also forgot who scored the first.  She did, however, get the score right.  Although perhaps this is the one bit of information we wouldn’t mind a little artistic licence on…


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