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The Weekender – w07+08 – 28 Oct 2017


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W3  D3  L4

GF: 19    GA: 25




Ten games and a total of forty-four goals -that must be a record!  No, wait -I seem to have missed a week.  Last week’s Weekender might have got lost somewhere between Sancerre and Pouilly, but for some unfathomable reason I don’t clearly recall where.  In my absence I did ask Jackson, the club mascot, to deputise, but he was led astray by the Chairman and struggled to record his detailed thoughts and observations.  Still it gives me plenty of ammo to hit you with, doesn’t it?

After Ophelia and Brian tried (but failed) to interrupt play in week 6, week 7 was less blowy and ended two up two down with a goal record of 8-12.  This week it was the turn of Desmond who did indeed get well and truly involved in a 1-3-2 weekend yielding 11 goals for and 15 against.

It turns out that Desmond is not a storm, but a clergyman and activist.  Whilst Geoff Slack offered to don his Tutu in honour of the day (in return for a mention in dispatches), we gracefully declined and, for the benefit of public interest, decided to mention him anyway to avoid any complaints.  But we ended up with no fewer than three 2-2s which, together with a win for L2 made it six points in consecutive weekends.

M1, M3 & M4 haven’t stopped winning since the start of the season.  OK, to be fair M3 & M4 haven’t started winning yet either, but that’s not the point.  At least they are off the mark – even if M3 waited until w08.  M3 bagged their first point of the season whilst M4 have three to their name, having done so the hard way.

FEHC as a club deserves a TotW award for playing all ten matches away over the last two weekends.  The Weekender was also away, but drank its award in the process so is possibly less deserving.  As for the teams, I think there should be two Teams of the Week to make up for lost time.  Week 7’s TotW is L1 who had the harder game of the two wins for the Onesies.  Week 8 was a little more binary as L2 claimed the only win – but they fully deserve the award for doing so in some style.

L1 bagged four points over the two weeks, starting with a 4-3 win away to Southampton University.  Ellen Knighton’s brace added to goals from Katie Hopkins and Frida Kenning saw them elevated above their opponents on the day.  The following week’s game away to Hamble was a tighter affair.  Ellen Knighton scored again with Ellie Williams also on the scoresheet in the first of the 2-2 draws.  They are now in second place, but games in hand may impact on this later.

M1 only had one game over the two weekends which meant they only won once.  Their 2-0 win away to Southampton University was their fifth win on the trot and sees them second in Division 4 with a game in hand on the leaders who are only a point ahead.  Thomas Hutson and Ollie Bradgate were the goalscorers with Dan Wall claiming his second clean sheet of the season.

L2 also won their sole game this half-term with a 4-0 win at Hamble.  Emily Love (twice), Amy Cradden and Amber Jackson were all on target.  It was a day for Emilys too, as Emily Wall recorded her third consecutive clean sheet.  L2 are now second in Division 5 thanks to their vastly superior goal difference.

M3’s first game was realistically an M3/M4 friendly against Yateley.  But in spite of Clive Harder’s goal it wasn’t a glory run as they finished 1-6 down.  M3 did, however, score their first point in a 2-2 draw at Tadley the following weekend.  Geoff “Tutu” Slack and Callum (not to be confused with James) Abley scored the goals.  M3 move up to ninth place but still have plenty of work to do.

M4 drew their only half-term game with Aldershot and Farnham.  This was the third of the 2-2 scorelines with Chris Bennett and James (not to be confused with Callum) Abley on target.  Their amassed three points see them in eighth place, but only a point behind fourth.

M2 lost their first league game this season, going down 0-5 at Winchester.  They slip to fourth as a result.

L3 had a difficult, and busy, half term starting with a 1-3 reverse in the league, Jess Benson being on target.  The following week they succumbed 1-4 to Haslemere in a friendly.  Irene Forward scored this time.

We are back at home for week 9 and with only one side playing a team from the top half of they league much is expected on the goal, HT, CS and generally winning front.  L3 are also having an intramural game in the morning.




W3  D0  L1

GF: 24    GA: 9

Whilst the Seniors were racking up the games, the Juniors were busy doing the reverse.  With four games scheduled, two were conceded by opponents failing to raise a side.

It does mean points but it doesn’t mean hockey so the Weekender is clearly not in favour of this.

Of the two games remaining, U14b came out best with an 11-2 victory away to Andover.  Ryan Bennett scored no fewer than four goals with three others – Angus Watson, Jack Hobkirk and William Hobkirk – all getting two with Matthew Acott making it eleven in total.  The junior leagues only recognise an eight goal win, but this doesn’t stop them being second in the league with a game in hand on the leaders.

Having missed their game against Chichester, U14g were unable to make it a six point half term as they were defeated 3-7 in Petersfield.  On the positive side, however, Amy Cradden added to her Saturday bag with a Sunday hat-trick to make it Amy 10-1 Kate.

Amy’s hat-trick also puts her four clear at the top of the junior chart whilst Ryan moves rapidly up the ranks to third.




Nineteen again!  Only this time it took you two weeks to score the same number you slotted home (/dribbled fortuitously over the line) in week 6.  But more importantly, the half-term lull was the second most productive in recent years moving the total up to second overall in the GS chart.  2014-15 is nineteen more goals ahead but I fancy a step up is overdue and that over the coming weeks we can make inroads into this lead.

Goal Difference was -4 in both week 7 & 8 putting us further behind so we need to start up the good news machine and give a long overdue boost to this stat.

The full season’s GS chart will appear on the ‘Season Report page when I have finished the last barrel.




This wasn’t the winningest of times but somehow it seems to have been just enough -when added to the successes of weeks 4 & 5- to keep us in top place.  But it will be a task to stay there.. no, wait, I’ve just remembered we’re going to win everything next week so we’ll be a shoo-in for top place.

And that’s for certain.




Another two clean sheets from Wall’s sees Emily take top honours for October with a perfect three from three.  Sarah (2 from 2) deserves to feel hard done by in this most competitive of months.

Dan just pips Sahil on GAave.

For the season, Emily now moves top with her third CS whilst Sarah holds off Dan with her two from two.  Dan equals Mrs Wall’s GA on 1.0 to keep domestic conversation interesting.

The season’s GK table will appear on the ‘Season Report page after I have sorted the wine cellar.




Ony the Juniors managed hat-tricks this time as the Defence added another two to go into an 8-3 lead.

Emily’s third also puts L2 top of the defensive chart.




M1 are taking on only themselves here as they move on to an unprecedented 83% win ratio.

Further behind there has been some re-jigging as L2 move up three places but it couldn’t be closer in the middle order.




Ellen takes the line honours for October, scoring four the hard way as neither Richard nor Velvet managed to capitalise on their hat-tricks earlier this month.


For the season to date Ellen also goes top with little other change to the top order.

Another ten scorers from week 6 sees the total reach forty-seven now.


The full season’s table isn’t available on the ‘Season Report page.  But it will be (allegedly).



Des Laws… no, hang on. I think I can see what’s happened here.

I did promise a Weekender special treat last week – and what did I get?  Stitched up by the Chairman, of course.  Or, at least, by her dog.

Tempting though it is to publish the lauded ‘detailed notes on the events of week 7’ under the Nicki Johnstone awards section, I have decided that instead I should give the award to the club poodle for not getting his act together and filling in for the Chairman in my absence. 

No, I know he’s not actually a poodle, but if you fail to fill in for me then that’s the kind of short shrift you should expect.  Besides, you can’t read so how can you be offended? 

Oh, really?  When did she teach you? 

How impressive.  Sorry, I had no idea.  Shall we blame Su instead, then? 

OK, be loyal if you want – but who can we drop in it?  Perhaps we should blame Nicki J.  Yes, let’s do that -it usually works and who’s not going to believe us?  Biscuits on me next time I see you.


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