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The Weekender – w05 – 7 Oct 2017


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W3  D2  L2

GF: 12    GA: 13


Dance off


This was the first full weekend with all seven sides in action.  And in fairness it didn’t turn out too badly with more wins than defeats and more points gained than lost.

Clearly M1 were in celebratory mood as they decided to show off their dance moves on the pitch.  At least they won or it might have put an altogether different slant on proceedings.

Pogo dance around the ball?

Ignoring the defeats there were, arguably, five teams in with a shout of Team of the Week.  M4 recorded a creditable draw, as did L2 -although neither scored making hat-trick avoidance the order of the day which isn’t the done thing.  And so we look to the winners for glory -and what a choice.  M1 continued their early league form with a solid win and M2 also brought all three points home.  But the Team of the Week was surely L3 who won their first league game for seven years in some style with three goals and a clean sheet too.  Go girls!

L3 came out fighting and saw off Portsmouth & Southsea 3-0.  Allison Abley, Lisa Garvey and Mary Beckett scored the goals whilst Sara Petersen got the clean sheet.  This puts them third in the early order.  A perfect start to their first league campaign since 2010.  Now they need to pursue their first away win since 2008…

M2 continued their impressive start to the season with another win, this time away to Southampton.  A Richard Meakin hat-trick and one from Kyle McFadzean saw them to a solid 4-1 win and third place in the table.

Dance move or limb-tying Yoga?

M1 beat Havant 3-1 with Josh Dolding, David Fox (back from international duty) and Ollie Bradgate on target.  They remain second on goal difference but with three on maximum points, who will be the first to blink?

M4 finished second in the Clean Sheet table last season and they kept up the good work with another this week.  Unfortunately so did their hosts, Basingstoke, but they did come home with a valuable point.

L2, first in last year’s Clean Sheet table, also kept out Portsmouth & Southsea in their first league game.  The second top scorers last season couldn’t, however, penetrate their hosts’ defence and so it, too, remained goalless.  This ends their ten game winning run in the league, but they are still unbeaten in eleven.  Just need to get back in the goal-scoring (and winning) habit.

Music hall -just needs the boater

M3 scored their first league goal, courtesy of Nathan Holifield, but couldn’t emulate the previous side’s defensive record and lost 1-4 at home.

L1 played on Saturday but nothing (apparently) happened.  Nobody scored any goals in their 1-7 home defeat against Southampton University.  Fake News or No News?  We may never know.  I’m going to attribute the goal to Leah Coney, for no other reason than there is no empirical evidence to suggest she didn’t score.  Still, if you don’t get a match report in the goals don’t count, do they?

African rain dance


In keeping with the new tradition (don’t you just love tradition?), the following shows next week’s fixtures showing the league positions of FEHC and their opponents.


It’s another full weekend for Flushot with the evens at home and the odds away.  And all are against 7th, 8th or 9th in their tables.  I’m not one to tempt fate, but what could possibly go wrong?




W2  D0  L0

GF: 8    GA: 3

Tree felling dance?

Inevitably when the Seniors have a not too shabby weekend, the Juniors still manage to outstrip them.  This time the U14s both won.

U14b visited Petersfield and came from behind to win 5-1.  Angus Watson scored twice with Jack Hobkirk, Ryan Bennett and Toby Hulse also on target.  They remain on three points as their walkover against Chichester has been removed and rearranged to become an actual hockey match (hooray!), so they will now have to earn their three points on the pitch.

U14g were to have faced Chichester but they were frightened off (or couldn’t raise enough players) and so the girls had to beat Woking instead.  Well, it would have been a shame to waste the pitch.  It finished 3-2 courtesy of an Amy Cradden hat-trick.

Amy moves above Frida with her hat-trick giving her six goals so far.

This brings us nicely on to the Young Harts of the Week.  With two convincing wins and no clean sheets – do you go for the five goal thriller or the hat-trick heroine?  Well the answer is neither.  This week’s Young Harts of the Week are the invincibles: all of the U10 section.  Up the Minis.



W15  D2  L3

GF: 50    GA: 12

They are deadly.  Whatever you do, don’t get on the wrong side of our Minis.

Firstly there’s loads of them.  They’re like Minions.  (Maybe that’s why they’re called Minis -who knew..?)  Everywhere you look, flashes of (black &) yellow brilliance, coupled with a total lack of remorse that is scoring fifty goals.  I am exhausted just counting them.

But there’s more.  U10 results actually read like a Vlad the Impaler hit list.  Played 12; Won 12;  For 43; Against 3.  They were so busy scoring, they barely had any time to concede any.  In fact two of the three sides conceded none at all.

And all this before most of you had eaten breakfast.

U10a & b averaged three goals a game and failed to concede at all.  U10c clearly applied more of a 1-1-5 formation and scored even more goals at the small expense of conceding three.

U8 also had a good, if more even, day of it finishing with results of 3-2-3.




Can-Can? Hokey-Cokey?

Do you know what I love? 

Yes you do. 

No, don’t be facetious. 

Yes, exactly: Goals (we get there, finally).

Well this wasn’t a spectacular (unless you’re under 10) but we are keeping on the move.  In fairness, 2014-15 is winning comfortably with 77 goals at this stage -and in fewer games.

But this year’s 53 isn’t to be sniffed at -especially as we have only conceded 88 goa… no, scratch that.  We need more goals. 

This week was as much about the clean sheets as the goals scored as, without these it would have been an altogether bad week for Goal Difference.  But aside from the errant blip on L1’s dance card things really aren’t going too badly.

The full season’s GS chart will appear on the ‘Season Report page when I have got round to setting it up.




43% this week moves us up 3 points to 33% for the season. 

This is still good as we moved up to third place in the Wins chart, only two behind the leader.




Now this is where we are winning this week!

One clean sheet in the whole of September then three in the first week of October.  Sarah, Sahil and Emily all have the perfect start to the month, whilst Dan has a solid GA of 1.0 from two games.

Even the oppo keeper busted some moves

For the season, Sarah and Sahil take top spot -more by virtue of their clean sheets being their only game, but there are plenty more games to sort the fine china from the charity shop donations.

The season’s GK table will appear on the ‘Season Report page in due course.




This is looking good.  Avoiding defeat and multiple hat-tricks are the easier targets.  But a clean sweep of wins is the golden carrot.  Can we?  Will we..?



Game on.

The Attack took up the challenge and bagged their second HT of the season with Richard putting M2 on the map. 

But the Defence weren’t going to rest on their laurels either and claimed no fewer than three clean sheets to take a 4-2 lead in the Attack v Defence face-off.

How low can YOU go?

There are now four sides on the CS table.  Just L1 and M2 & 3 to do their bit.




Not sure what the dance is, but at least they are in time

And the grand order has turned.  L1 fell to a somewhat inexplicable (and certainly unexplained) defeat.  M1 seized their chance and moved straight into L1’s spot, not only taking their first place but also their 75% record too.  M2 make it three teams with at least a 50% win percentage whilst L3 move swiftly up to a third of games won.




There’s no disputing the early leader for October but with ten scorers last week and seven games next week there’s no space to relax.

Best keep banging in the goals.

1-2 Cha-Cha-Cha


For the season to date Richard catches Josh who holds tentatively onto top spot purely by getting there first.

Goal-a-week Corporal Jones injured himself in true Dad’s Army fashion and so failed to live up to my much-hyped hype.

Leah catches up with Ellen at the top of the, dangerously quiet, ladies section.  I expect plenty more movement here before too long.


The full season’s table isn’t available on the ‘Season Report page.  But it will be.



So I assume that everyone has now worked out which Jones was which from last week but for Alan’s benefit (and I don’t know if he even got as far as their surnames..) I thought we should let him in on the answers:

In order of appearance:  Norah (US singer), Inigo (17c Architect), Griff Rhys- (Comedian, sailor), Eddie (Australian coach of England Rugby), Jade (Taekwondo double Olympic gold medallist), Grace (Jamaican singer), Peter (Dragon), Aled (Chorister, DJ), Alex (One Show presenter), Tom (Welsh singer), Richard (Britain’s Got Talent winning magician), Indiana (Harrison needs no introduction), Milton (Comedian), Phil (Man Utd defender), Jon (UFC Champion), Bridget (daft, bumbling diary keeper), Steve (Sex Pistol), Peter (the concrete one on Sloane Square) and, of course, Vinnie (Crazy Gang member on both football field and silver screen).

It’s just not cricket. No, Ben it’s NOT cricket. You can’t claim four runs off the inside edge, however good you think your footwork is.

So what next?

Well I expect you all to take a leaf out of Strictly M1’s books and put on your dancing shoes, pick up your scoring sticks and get your name on the top of the chart.  Simple, really.


Match Reports

Weather Forecast

Mostly Cloudy
Wednesday 02/21 20%
Mostly Cloudy
Considerable cloudiness. Low 0C.
Partly Cloudy
Tomorrow 02/22 10%
Partly Cloudy
Sunshine and clouds mixed. High 6C. Winds ENE at 10 to 15 km/h.
Partly Cloudy
Friday 02/23 10%
Partly Cloudy
Sunshine and clouds mixed. High near 5C. Winds E at 15 to 30 km/h.