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The Weekender – w03 – 23 Sep 2017


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W2  D1  L3

GF: 9    GA: 20


Negative territory


No, don’t be down on yourselves.  That’s my job.

But it was actually a good week, wasn’t it?  We had two wins, which is double last week.  But only 29% – it’s not the rate I am (have become) used to.  Then there is always the nagging GD count which, whilst isn’t exactly (ie. anywhere near) positive.  But seven points -is that a success?  It isn’t exactly a failure but we still have a way to go.

The good news is that we (ie. L1) won our sole league game.  So three points out of three.  Well, if we keep that up then things will very soon turn out differently.  We will see.

In spite of the scarcity of wins so far, though, (he says, trying hard to put a positive spin on the season so far) they have been spread across the genders with both ladies and gentlemen recording victories.  Even the Curmudgeons’ XI have bagged three points this season.  So maybe it is a lot better than I am making out.  Maybe.

The Team of the Week was a toss-up between the two Ones who were the ones that Won this week.  L1 won away in their first league game but the accolade instead goes to M1 who won their final friendly against higher league opposition in convincing fashion – and bagged the first hat-trick of the season too.

M1 seem to have been invigorated by the sheer difficulty of their pre-season and pulled off an away win against Surrey Division 3 opponents (roughly a league above M1), Camberley & Farnborough 2.  A hat-trick for Josh Dolding saw them run out 3-1 victors.  They start their league on Saturday with a trip to Portsmouth & Southsea, who fell out of the bottom of Div 3 last season.

L1 kicked off the season in fine fashion this year with a win.  The more observant amongst you won’t be surprised, however, as they have won every opening league game since 2011.  This makes it their sixth in a row, so no pressure for 2018-19 then.  This year they defeated Haslemere 2-1 away with Jodie Bennett and Ellie Williams getting the goals.  They are now at home on Saturday to Aldershot & Farnham who drew last week.

L2 visited Yateley 3 in their final friendly and came away with a draw against their Division 4 opponents.  Becky Geoghegan, Emily Love and Faye Williams were credited with the goals.  They play an intramural against L3 next as the ladies league can’t seem to decide in which week, or even month, to begin the season.

M3 succumbed at home to Alton 3 who were promoted to Division 8 last season.  Ollie Jones kept up his 100% record with the goal, but the side were unable to keep out the Alton attack and it finished 1-3.  M3’s first league game is away to City of Portsmouth 3 (10th Div 6).

M4 travelled to Alton 4 and the club kept their 100% record against FEHC with another win as it finished 0-4 in the hosts favour.  We will see how the sides fare in the leagues against the same opponents as both M2 and M4 have the chance for revenge.  M4’s first league game is at home to Camberley & Farnborough (9th in Div 9 last year).

M2 had the week off but kick off their season by hosting Romsey (2nd in Div 7 last year).  In fact all the men play sides who have arrived from different divisions in their first game.

MV finished their season with an eight goal thriller.  Well there were eight goals.  And perhaps it might have been more thrilling if we had scored at least one of them.  But then Petersfield won the Wessex Masters Cup last season.  And the season before.  And the League.  In both seasons.  Bit of a done deal, really.  But it’s good exercise for those who aren’t already injured.  We hope to arrange some Vets friendlies too this season following the popularity of the Cup competition.




U14 girls were the undisputed Young Harts of the Week this week.  OK, there were only two games and the U14 boys game was cancelled due to lack of opponents, but this is sport and you should take every positive going.

The girls did score, through Amy Cradden, but the game finished 1-3 in favour of hosts New Forest.  This is, however, the furthest they will have to travel this season and was not a scoreline to embarrass.  Tallulah was given player of the match by the opposition (I like this genuinely anonymous way of voting) for her athletic prowess in goal.




Well let’s savour the good news first.  GS is up and goals conceded were down too.  GD also improved by eight. 

But then the bad news..  GS was still not quite double figures and given there were six games you (OK, ‘I’) might expect a little more.  Whilst GA was down, ‘down’ from 26 is only progress in relative terms.  As for GD, it is still in the negative double figures, so I won’t be publishing that graph just yet.

That said, I think we should all focus on the league.  In which case we have a 100% record and positive goal difference to boot.  As I always say: “What could possibly go wrong?”

The full season’s GS chart will appear on the ‘Season Report page when I have got round to setting it up.




Two.  Well this was an improvement, and we won the one match that actually counted.

Then again, whilst we are keeping the negativity in check, we aren’t breaking any records just yet. 

But, hey, it’s early season.  And we aren’t bottom of the chart any more.  And it’s only 61 wins to go to match our record!





Not awesome, but better.  And you know you can be awesome because we’ve seen it before.


Lauren puts in a good shift to move up to level with ‘no keeper’.  Frankie jumps straight into second place with a GA of 3.0. 

No, I told you it isn’t awesome.  Last season a GA of 2.5 was only enough for seventh spot.  But at least the Attack haven’t scored a Hat-tri… oh.

The season’s GK table will appear on the ‘Season Report page in due course.




FINALLY something to blather (/wax lyrical) about!

Some might argue that there really isn’t a need for a chart with a data set of one.  But then some of them might be defenders and their chart looks even less exciting (and I choose my words advisedly).

But if you want to knock M1 or JD off their perch – well, you know what to do.




I’m not showing this as MV aren’t top any more.

Well, OK.  But only if you don’t tell anyone.  Especially L1.  We don’t want them getting big-headed or anything…




Josh flies up the table with his HT, but Corporal Jones didn’t panic and just slotted another one home to keep his 100% record of scoring every week going into the third.

It seems Ollie is still smiling.


The full season’s table isn’t available on the ‘Season Report page.  But it will be.



For those still not sure of the rules, don’t -whatever you do- ask me.

But I will give you a little insight into a recent rule change: There is no such thing as an own goal.  OK it isn’t that recent, but if you try to deny Faye a goal simply because she had a little ‘assistance’ from a defender that is simply unfair.  Besides, I need all the goals I can get so frankly I don’t care if you ping it off the umpire (legal, but not recommended).  Just make sure it is given (which might preclude my last suggestion -so probably best to ignore it).

Now this was going to be a section on Lost Property, of which there seems to have been an increasing number, but goals are (always) more important.

That’s not to say that I am wondering just how many of you are wandering around naked, such has been the increase in cast-away garments after hockey -games or training.

Thank goodness the club has a Lost Property monitor (Clive, by all accounts..), and a lost property cupboard (Clive’s boot, I believe).

All I would say is that I’ve seen Clive’s boot and the chances of you finding your lost top in the same week as losing it slim.  Well, slimmer than me at any rate.

The most popular items to be left behind seem to be tops.  Followed by sticks, then Hutsons (like sticks, some people have too many to keep track of them all).

If you do find anything, just embarrass the owner by posting a picture on FB.  It’s what passes for entertainment nowadays, apparently.



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